If you haven’t experienced the emotional pain from a marriage breakup congratulations. You are doing something right. If you have gone through a divorce, or are currently going through a divorce, these 3 steps may help.
I’m speaking from experience here. Divorce hurts. It hurts emotionally as we separate from a loved one. It hurts financially as we are now dependent entirely on ourself. Change can be scary, frightening and lonely. If there are children involved a divorce can have a devastating effect on them as well. Nonetheless, if divorce happens we have to deal with it.
Step 1 – Rely on God or your higher power
When you are going through a divorce you experience a feeling of lack. A lack of control in your life, a lack of direction, a lack of emotional stability. What got me through those difficult times was a total reliance on God. When I say total reliance I mean in every area of your life. Not only from an emotional standpoint, but from a business and personal level as well
When you totally rely on God you alleviate your feeling of guilt and fault in a failed marriage. If you are a believer, God loves you for who you are. After all he created you. It doesn’t matter what race, color, sex, marital status or whatever. So turn your life over to God and let go of your guilt. He will bring you through it if you rely on him.
Total reliance or trust means to turn every area of your life over to him. If your marriage suffered infedility, trust may seem impossible again. But to cure the pain and emotional scarring we have to turn over every area of our life to God. That means your finances as well. When you tithe your income amazing things happen inside. After all, your heart is where your money is.
Step 2 – Find A Support System or Group
Short of professional therapy, you have to be able to express your feelings. This can be done with friends or support groups. This is a very important step because you have bottled up emotions inside. These emotions are powerful and have to be dealt with. If not dealt with properly they can ruin any attempts at another relationship in the future.
Whatever it is your feeling, whether its betrayal, guilt, loneliness, sadness, frightened, scared, etc. you have to face it. This is not easy. But it can be done. What I found was that once I addressed it for the first time, and accepted my situation, it becomes easier the next time and the next, etc.
Step 3 – Let Go of The Past and Move Forward
Time cures a lot of problems. You have to learn to let go of the past. After all, it has already happened. It’s over. Let’s not wollow in our mistakes. Accept that they happened, release all blame and guilt, and move forward. You will be o.k. God has you in his palm.
Learning to Let Go and releasing all guilt and blame is very difficult. But it is necessary and crucial for your well-being. As time passes and you decide to let go of the past, you will be healed. This is a day-to-day process. But very effective.